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Where Did All This Anger Come From?

Where Did All This Anger Come From?

Trigger warning! On today’s episode, I discuss how the challenger personality type becomes solidified within us and often times, that is as a result of an instance of trauma or repeated trauma in our formative years. I alert you with a heads up at the time during the episode where you may want to fast forward.

We will dive deep into the enneagram, attachment styles, and self-leadership to learn more about what our anger is trying to teach us throughout the episode and it will be confronting, I promise.

The challenger personality type on the Enneagram reacts first with anger, as do the 9 and the 1, as they are part of the body feeling triad. Over the past few years, it has been part of my journey to get in touch with that anger to understand more clearly what is lying beneath it.

I want to share more of that journey to understanding my anger in its cleanest form; as a messenger for me to listen for more of what’s behind the emotion.

“Anybody can become angry — that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way — that is not within everybody’s power and is not easy.” -Aristotle

I used to turn to anger first in every situation, projecting my anger onto others as if it were always their fault and responsibility to own the reactions I felt.

Then I learned that there was a clean version of anger.  A version that is felt as a messenger and not definitively my truth.  Anger is a secondary emotion and often times is covering up something deeper and more real inside us.

I’ve approached my anger in a different way since recognizing this along the way.  I’ve approached anger with a curious question, “What are you here to teach me?”

Most of the time, anger showed up for me to cover up and yet alert me that there was fear, guilt, shame, and hurt lying underneath.  Now, I can listen to my anger and relate to others in many ways without blowing my top off and share what is truly underneath the anger.

How does anger show up for The Challenger?

Solidifies the enneagram type to keep the young person safe in their environment and for the type 8, it often shows up as Feelings of Betrayal. I found this quote that helps me summarize what betrayal from trauma feels like for the challenger personality type.

Trauma is a psychic wound that hardens you psychologically that then interferes with your ability to grow and develop. It pains you and now you’re acting out of pain.

Trauma is not what happens to you, it’s what happens inside you as a result of what happened to you.” Francis Weller

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