3 Things I’ve Learned After 90 Days of Sobriety
If you have been following the BBR Podcast from the beginning, you will have heard me discuss a personal challenge I took on by not drinking alcohol for 90 days. It’s been going very well and once I asked for support, it was much easier to commit than I thought it was going to be.
I interviewed a great friend of mine, Meghann Conter, on episode 15 about Gray Area Drinking and came to some conclusions about my life. If you missed the episode, click here now to listen to the full story! https://believeberealbebold.com/2018/10/21/ep-15-grey-area-drinking-with-meghann-conter/
I felt that it was time to send out an update so that you could continue to follow along on the purpose, the pathway, and the results I’ve seen since making this personal commitment to eliminate alcohol from my life! The following three things I’ve learned came within the first 90 days of sobriety.
1.I can still have fun in my social life when I am not drinking alcohol and my friends will still accept me… if they truly are my friends.
2. I was numbing my feelings, my self-awareness, and it was affecting my relationships.
3. I have propelled my self-awareness, discovery, resiliency, authenticity forward through vulnerability and facing the past with honesty.
Communicating to my community that I was making this commitment was important so that they could support me with compassion and if necessary, I could reach out for support. My good friend Stephanie listened to a recent life event (my car needed repairs after the last snow storm) and I had never wanted an IPA more since I started my challenge.
What I processed was that although it is completely acceptable to have one glass of wine or beer to destress occasionally, I realized I was more resilient than that and chose to use my other stress relieving skills to combat the craving and urge to numb with a beer or glass of wine. I took a long walk with my dog, watched a little bit of TV, and was asleep by 9 pm… on a Friday night!!!!
A full nights rest plus the self-care activity of walking my dog, helped me maintain my self-love, and built up resiliency so that I could face my real feelings when dealing with stress. In the savage world of dating in Denver, I think I’ve met the one; it’s me, and I think it’s going pretty well.
I have faced some other adversity since October of 2018 while giving up alcohol. After about the first 90 days, I became extremely bored because work had leveled out, I began a new certification, but yet I still wasn’t where I wanted to be. I thought that once I committed to a new life, I would see results personally, professionally, and interpersonally so much quicker.
During this past year of hosting the podcast, I have continued to attend church at Flatirons Community Church. Last weekend, Jim Bergen, lead pastor reminded me that it’s not on my timeline but rather I need to “let go, let God” take control and provide for me on his timeline and until then, I will accept the teachings I am meant to experience.
One specific result I was seeking was more financial stability. And while eliminating alcohol from my routine and occasional night out saved me expensive dinner tabs, it didn’t quite result in business or personal income…. directly.
However, I did deal with my boredom in a healthier way than I had anticipated. I joined a men’s group called The Evolving Man with Geoff Laughton from an earlier episode of the podcast. Check out the details here! If you missed my interview with Your Relationship Architect, Geoff, click below now to listen in!
I tend to have an intense personality and when I go into something new, I tend to go “All-in”! And no less is true with this personal commitment to quit drinking for 90 days (now I’m pushing it to a full six month goal). Yet, I still faced some boredom, which I am now trying to lighten up with some comedy. I call it “Poor-don”.
I loved the social aspect of breweries, dinner with friends and some wine, or enjoying the holidays with family and accepting their offer for a glass or two. So when I eliminated alcohol for financial reasons because it didn’t fit my budget for a short time, I decided to come up with my own reasons why I got hit with such serious boredom.
First of all, dating is still hard, sober or not…
Second, a lot of activities in Colorado are centered around drinking… Rockies rooftop birthday parties, Comedy Works shows (two drink minimum), or even Top Golf provides easy access to alcohol service.
I needed to make some new choices if I was still going to date in Denver without drinking. So I began asking first dates out to coffee. And it’s been working well so far. I have met more authentic women and believe I have shown up more authentic as well. However, without the addition of alcohol, I have become so much more selective! And I perceive that as a good thing!
Ok, so back to the events centered around alcohol. I wasn’t getting invited to these types of events any longer and it related to my boredom. Even work events cooled off because I set healthier boundaries around accepting or declining invitations if they were including alcohol. Hence, my “Poor-dom” meme shown below!
To wrap this quick conversation up, I’d like to commend all those committing to new challenges. Whether it is abstinence for sex, eliminating alcohol, or quitting smoking, stay strong my friends and believe that you will overcome! You are resilient and strong enough to accomplish anything you set your mind to as long as you have a support system within you or around you.
So, if your current community isn’t supporting you, find a new community. That’s what we provide within the BBR Podcast family. We are your support system of like minded, busy adults, that want to show up as their most authentic selves.
Join our community by subscribing on iTunes or Spotify to listen to the newest episodes of the podcast or fill out the form before you call Dave for a one on one discovery call to find out more about yourself through the lens of the Enneagram personality assessment at 9types.com!
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